February 2012
241 posts
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My clients pay me, okay? Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
Why do you question my toilet-cleaning, anyway? Is there something wrong with keeping a toilet clean!?
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Most of them are, but I wouldn’t say all.
It depends on the kind of case I’m up against. For example, murder is probably more life-threatening than a case of, say, shop-lifting.
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It’s more than what I get paid for a defense attorney but all of it gets channeled to the insurance and health companies. So, in the end, I’m stuck with nothing.
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Wh-whoa..!
Easy there! I’d tell you about him, ju-just don’t badger me like that…
Spider-Man is… just like how you see him. He’s a little jumpy, a little on the geek side, but he’s a good man.
He could also sleep anywhere, as long as it has two walls so he can make himself a hammock made of web.
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…What?
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I have a beanie here with me. Let me show you what I look like. Hold on.
…
…
…
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No, I do not and there is no way I’m letting the lot of you inside my apartment!
(You might steal my boxers…)
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That might be a possible explanation.
I heard a similar rumor around here. Something to do with time paradoxes, I think.
(I wonder if the Chief’s still alive in that alternate universe…)
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Um…
Do you want to help me with Math? I’m kinda bad at division…
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Of course I have a helmet.
Even bikers have to follow the traffic rules, you know?
Whatever you might think, I have a regular helmet. No, it doesn’t flatten my spikes.
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I can’t even fry an onion ring, much less bake bread.
Just because my surname’s on the packaging of a baking ingredient doesn’t mean I can bake.
((Picture))
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The big black bug bit the big black bear. The big black bear bit back the big black bug.
(Good thing I only have to type this out and not actually say it out loud…)
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Um… Thanks?..
(I can’t say ‘I love you’ back when I don’t know who you are…)
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(Uh… R-right… Maybe I should remember not to give a controversial answer next time…)
I don’t know if a lot of you will be disappointed but I think I’d be willing to do anything for the woman I’d spend my whole life with it. Well, at least that’s what my dad told me. If you really love someone and you’re willing to stay with them for the rest...
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(Wow. Right after calling me a name I so love to hear, you tell me you love me. Very smooth…)
Like I said before, I used to dream about being Judge Whackner, Hero of the Public’s Court. I also wanted to be an engineer, a doctor, and astronaut, and an artist.
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Um, honestly, he’s a little too rough for my taste.
Besides, I don’t want to work with someone who drags chains all over the place. I’ll never be able to work in peace and quiet! Not to mention he’ll probably burn Charley or the whole place down.
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One. What else?
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Nope!
I think I’d rather stick with the manly tie.
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Well, why are you trying to draw me in the first place?
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Um, ah… I’d really like to go but I have things I need to finish. Ha ha… Why don’t you take Charley instead? He’s a better zombie fighter than I am…
See?
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Once when I was a kid I wanted to be Judge Whackner, Hero of the Public’s Court. That’s also connected to working for the Justice system so I guess you could say it’s something I’ve always wanted to do.
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You mean the Magatama?
It’s not just a stone, you know. It’s something important to me. I’d appreciate it if you referred to it by its proper name next time.
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Have you tried telling your teacher or your principal? Try talking to someone with authority.
If that doesn’t fix it, I think it’d be better if you confronted them yourselves, but from the way you explained things, it looks like there’s a lot of them. I’d take care if you decide to confront them.
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If you don’t like it so much why don’t you get your ass out of here?
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Anonymous asked: Mr. Wright, since you have met Apollo Justice, you haven't mention Maya Fey a bit. Why?
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I’d have to say the time when slavery was rampant, not just in America but all over the world. It’s still a problem now and it’s the source of many of the discrimination cases today.
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(I’d actually rather have it bother you for the rest of your life…)
Fi-fine… Gant…
(It shouldn’t be that hard…)
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No, I haven’t.
A lot of people said in the past that I should just stick with this spiky hair do. Besides, it’s sort of my trademark now.
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I don’t see why a lot of people should be confused. They’re clearly two different things. Just take a look at this picture:
Do you see the difference now?
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An American movie of my trials?
Huh. You guys are really into this stuff, aren’t you? Making games and now making movies. Oh well, can’t blame you.
Anyway, let’s see…
Michael Cera?
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Hm, I don’t know. That’s a fighting tournament too, isn’t it?.. That’s going to be troublesome for me…
But tell you what… Make an offer I can’t resist and I just might agree.
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How do I like!?
Are you for real? I don’t like fighting in that competition! If I had my way, I would back out now, but there’s no getting out of a contract, is there?
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I was talking about the corrupt prosecutors I faced in court like Manfred von Karma and, to some extent, Godot. Of course I didn’t mean the literal demon, but I think you get the point.
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Why don’t you tell them they’re not alone in thinking I look like a porcupine? Maybe they’ll feel better about themselves.
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I’m okay, but yeah… I’ve only had one case handed to me so far. Business is slow, ha ha…
(At this rate I’d probably end up eating instant noodles everyday like him…)
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Why does everybody insist on making parodies about my trials?
(Although “Can the guitar thief please amplify his way to the stand” sounds pretty good… Maybe I could use that one of these days…)
((Video.))
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Two girls on my page. So what?
(You better not be implying something there…)
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What is not ridiculous about it?
That’s like saying Spider-Man is just a comic book character!
It’s just an absurd idea, okay? I’m a real person! I’m not a bunch of pixels you can control by pressing the A and B buttons! I’m pretty sure you can’t make me say ‘Objection!’ by pressing the Present Evidence button either. That’s just so...
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From the small list of video games I ever played?
I’d have to say… Mario Party 9, because it’s entertaining and I like playing with other people. I don’t usually touch the Wii when I’m on my own.
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Huh?
I’m not a disbarred attorney, so why would I take the bar exam again? And why would I want to take piano lessons? I mean, yeah, I’m not good at the piano but it’s not really something I’m interested in.
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Hey, Larry, calm down! Just because your girlfriend broke up with you doesn’t mean the world ends!
And don’t start downing all the Flintstone tablets, okay?
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Ye-yeah, you’re kinda right there.
I get hugs after hard cases, usually from the more emotional clients. Pearls also gives me hugs sometimes. Heh heh…
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Err… What?
I’m sorry, but I don’t speak Japanese. Maybe you could translate your question to English?..
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He-hey, no need to lose sleep over something as trivial as that!
But, yeah, my father had spiky hair too. It runs in the family. Even my grandfather on the paternal side had spiky hair.
(Come to think of it, wouldn’t it be weird if it was my mom who has spiky hair?..)
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It would be my pleasure to attend, Mr. Kaiba. But I’m afraid I’m gonna have to pass on the dueling part. I haven’t played in a long time and I’m a bit rusty. I’d rather stay in the sidelines, if you don’t mind.
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Maya is to burgers as Larry Butz is to his girlfriend: infatuated.
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Why? Am I doing something objectionable?
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I don’t mind.
But what would a New York City newspaper want with a California lawyer?
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Um, thank you…
(It could have been termed in a less vulgar manner but it’s still a compliment…)